The Myth of Polarity

We begin with a real challenge. The Myth of Polarity, of distinctiveness, separateness, individuality, is so central to our identity, our self-awareness , indeed our very existence, why would we ever surrender it?

This is not required. The issue is never a polarized one, by which I suggest that it is not a question of ‘either / or’ but rather one of ‘both / and’. We should not be concerned with giving away something we have rightly grown to value but instead placing alongside it a complement, in order that we can view it as it really is.

We came into this world as an innocent, with nothing impressed on our material consciousness other than the need to survive, our primal instinct. Gradually, over time, and with love, we were encouraged to form a sense of who we were relative to the world around us. This is necessary if we are to prevail, and as so many others have influenced our self-awareness, mostly with consistent messages – we become ‘unique.’

This becomes the focus of our self-definition and our experiences and residuals have been evaluated on this template. It has emerged to be the dominant concern, am I being true to myself? This is, of course, a pivotal question and we may not ignore it. We should however keep our perspectives in proper focus by reminding ourselves that we are not alone.

As we patrol the boundaries of our self-awareness it is both realistic and profitable to remember that we share far more in common with every other living entity  that could ever divide us. Harmony with other beings, and indeed with nature, is just as important as differentiation and dissonance. Our interests are collective, and we will surely benefit from bringing a complement into focus as we proceed.

The complement is ‘other’ awareness. There have to be boundaries, but they need to be flexible and resilient, not rigid and uncompromising – a potential source for conflict. Entitlement has to be balanced with accommodation, control with collaboration, and hierarchies laced with respect. The rewards are substantial, for in the diversity that arises through differing life experiences, there’s substance and incentive for growth.

More importantly, the interfaces we have with others is where love – the great attractive force in creation – is to be found. Love is reflected in love, and it alone has substantial power to sustain our life and our growth. Holding ourselves apart from this immeasurably rich resource is pointless for we will be the sole victim. We can enjoy love and we can surely give it to others as we wish, but we can never demand or take it. We need to keep the portals wide open.

Fear and greed will frequently intervene and frustrate us, but these are only as substantial as darkness is to light! If in doubt, try to project a beam of darkness, or to preserve it as such wherever light is introduced.

We are important, but no more so than every other living creature. Yet we are more for we can determine our own realities!


  • David E.C. Huggins

    David Huggins has fully enjoyed a lifetime of experience as a military officer and as a behavioural scientist, supporting businesses and similar enterprises, at both organizational and individual levels, through leadership coaching. A contemplative Christian, he is devoted to contributing love, value, comfort, and continuity to this diverse world. He resides in Campbellville, Ontario, with his lovely and talented artist wife, Judy.